Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A shocking solution to the student loan crisis

After a recent posting on the student loan crisis, someone sent me the following note.  S/he requested anonymity since s/he felt that the special interests that control this country would do everything in their power to suppress this kind of common sense solution to our nation's problems.  S/he hopes that if this idea comes from a blog of a respected religious leader, patriotic legislators will be able to reach across the aisle and come together for the good of our country, defying the extremes of both parties.

Well, I am not sure that I am that "respected religious leader" but I am willing to do what I can to bring our country back from the brink of madness and partisan bickering.

His/Her proposal:

We should forgive all student loans past and future in exchange for each student serving two years of mandatory national service in the armed services, inner-city teaching, conservation work or working in the newly nationalized American porn industry.

The adult entertainment industry is rapidly growing and extremely profitable. Nationalizing this industry will bring a stream of dollars to the government that will go far to offset our chronic budget deficit. Like gambling, or potentially drugs, bringing these income streams into the government is a well-established precedent.

American young adults, who represent the diversity of the world's population, are already considered to be the world's standard for youthful sexiness. It is time to use our greatest national resource -- our human capital -- to serve our nation's purpose.  Why let Abercrombie and Fitch reap all the benefits.

It is a well-established fact that older and less attractive members of our society are more than willing to pay for high-quality adult entertainment products. (They will even pay top dollar for low-quality product.) Think of the increase in sales when they know that they are helping grow our national economy. When we understand that the middle-aged male consumer of adult entertainment is a "job creator", what had been a source of shame and embarrassment will be seen as the pleasant exercise of one's patriotic duty.

Surely, after the extended wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, we cannot say that, as a nation, we are above asking our young people to place their bodies in our hands for the greater national cause.


It's actually less of a sacrifice than military service. Many of these young adults are having sex now, but is selfish and meaningless sex, undertaken for the pleasure of a few individuals. They should be having sex for America.

A final note: the most important commodity in the adult entertainment industry are young, white, blond, females. The United States is a premier provider of this highly profitable raw material. Our only potential competitors in supplying this essential ingredient are the Scandanavian countries. Fortunately, they have chosen not to enter this competition, as they provide low-cost and even free college education to their young adults. Their loss is our gain.
There you have it.  I think that it is a shocking proposal, far outside the mainstream.  I am referring to its bold and explicit advocacy of an industrial policy, in which government bureaucrats pick the winners and losers in the free market.  Government should never do what private enterprise can do on its own.

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